Breaking News; Earth's Axis Off Kilter

crossposted at www.greenmountaindaily.com

Breaking news just came over the wire, Earth's axis is off kilter. Scientists studying global climate change have discovered earth's axis is fluctuating, this they say explains the odd weather as of late. The earth instead of it normal rotation, is fluctuating like a spinning top. The reason, the northern hemishere is top heavy!

The earth has experienced such tremendous human population growth in the northern hemisphere that the planet has become top-heavy. Instead of a steady rotation it weebles, wobbles, and pitches forward. It has created an interesting phenomenon. As greenhouse gases are put in motion and slammed against the atmosphere, their density increases. When mixed with carbon dioxide it forms an odd liquid mixture. This pollution solution then runs down the inside of the atmoshere and falls out the hole in the ozone layer above Antrctica.

Scientists estimate in 50 years time all the pollution and greenhouse gases in the atmosphere will fall out and no longer be a problem. They are concerned however about the fluctuating rotation. They expect that unless large numbers of people move to the southern hemisphere, the planet will be condemned to a day of summer. followed by a day of winter, continuing year round.

Global crop production is expected to be interupted bringing famine and hunger. Because of the adverse weather patterns, green energy production is also in danger. Only those countries able to power entirely on nuclear and coal will be able to survive. Already nations have mobilized their armies and called up reserve troops to quell riots and looters. Stores have closed their doors, as well as banks and schools.

Aren't you glad its just April Foools Day!!